Rights and Obligations
Let us first examine what is due to her from men. The Qur'an say:
"Men are maintainers of women with the bounties which Allah has bestowed more abundantly on some of them than on others; and with what they may spend out of their possessions" (4:34).
In a Muslim society therefore the man has full responsibility for the maintenance of his family. This is not only a moral but also a legal obligation. Anything a wife earns is her own to dispose of, either to use it herself or to contribute it to the family budget if she wishes.
The wife herself is responsible for the care of her home and the welfare of her family. She may express her views and make her suggestions concerning all matters, but the best role she can play in keeping the marital tie intact and strong, is to recognize her husband as the person responsible for the running of the affairs of the family, and thus to obey him even if his judgement is not acceptable to her, in a particular matter, provided he does not go beyond the limits of Islam. This is the meaning of obedience in the context of marriage in Islam. It is a recognition of the role of the husband as the head of the family unit and the loyalty of both husband and wife to a higher law, the Shari‘a.
The Prophet has said:
"The best woman is she who, when you see her you feel pleased, and when you direct her she obeys. She protects your rights and keeps her chastity when you are absent".
A man is expected to take care of his wife and show consideration to her and to all women as the weaker sex. The concept of chivalry had its origin in the early Muslim world, and is held by many scholars to have passed from the Muslim into Europe at the time of the troubadours of Mediaeval France.
This concept of chivalry has come in for many blows in the last fifty years or so as it runs contrary to the present day tendency for women to try and struggle for their livelihood in a harsh world in the same way as men do. The Muslim opinion is that she should be spared from these struggles and worries so that she can give her full attention to the making of a home.
The Muslim woman's role in the home is a vitally important one to the happiness of the husband and the physical and spiritual development of their children. Her endeavor is to make her family's life sweet and joyful and the home a place of security and peace. This and her early character-training of the children have a lasting effect on the behavior and attitudes of the next generation when they reach adolescence and adulthood. There is a well-known saying in Arabic : al-ummu madrasatun meaning "the mother is a school", which conveys the importance of this role.
